so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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