guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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