I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
