And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
