I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
