Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
