she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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