Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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