Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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