walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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