New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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