Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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