so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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