I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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