so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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