That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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