She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
