i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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