This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
