with your own penis?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
