On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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