He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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