Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
