when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
