so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
