the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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