I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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