But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
