It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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