Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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