Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
