i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
