I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
