when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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