if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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