is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
im having a threesome with these popsicles
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
