that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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