It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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