i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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