Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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