Me too!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
