wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
