yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
