Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
