Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
