woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
