That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
