I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
