I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize