mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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