Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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